Christmas past....

Over the weekend we had a great time at Kim and Lenny's. It was a lot of great conversations and I had a great time meeting a new person and chatting with cousins and the rest of our family. It was really fun to have great laughs and poke fun at one another. Hold on... one second.... never mind... I thought I heard wedding bells.

The rest of our weekend was quiet as far as traveling except for one trip I made to Aunt Margie's home on Christmas morning. I wanted to stop in as I knew it was her first Christmas without Uncle Sonny. One thing I learned was Uncle Sonny's ashes are buried on the same road that I live on in Allentown, NJ. Province Line Road....... This is a good thing.

This weekend was also filled with demolition and some framing as the next room in the house is ready for sheet rock. I am getting excited as I see the possibility of TV in my future. It is looking like we might get TV within the next few years. It would be nice to have it by the Daytona 500 so Nadia can watch it with me.

Nadia actually began to spit up quite a bit this week but it is nothing to worry about. She is eating a lot and weighed in at 4 lbs 13 ounces yesterday. That is basically triple her birth weight of 1 lb 10 ounces and certainly over triple her lowest weight of 678 grams. She also has some phlegm build up but that is apparently normal as well.

I think Tash and I are really starting to learn the line over when to ring the red phone at the White House in regards to what appear to us as Nadia's ailments. As we move along the process of parenting many things which alarm us tend to be normal baby stuff. A lot of what we perceive as ailments are not really ailments at all. Of course we are erring on the side of caution as Надежда is a preemie.

Lastly, on the 25th before I left for my aunt's home I put Nadia down on her boppy next to Tash on our bed and Tash then proceeded to fall a sleep. And then I snapped this pic... Life is awesome....

First bath....

We received the all clear on giving Nadia a real bath yesterday and she enjoyed it thoroughly.... NOT.... actually she did cop a smile for a few seconds and even more so when it was done.

I do not know about any other fathers out there but as a former wrestler and person who breaks things by accident these types of situations stress me out. I am scared to death during situations where she squirms and wiggles trying to escape my grasp.

The fact is I feel worn out after baths or diaper changes because I get nervous. The feeling, I would assume is the same feeling a bomb expert gets when they diffuse a bomb without protection. Fortunately I have no way to verify this and I do not plan on proving this theory true outside of my own mind. Actually, I do that with a lot of my theories so this is no different.

I am enjoying every moment, messy diapers and all. I would love more sleep (actually sleeping more now than I was 2 months ago anyway) but there is nothing better than feeding Nadia in the middle of the night while Tash is able to rest. Just Nadia and myself and complete silence except for Nadia's squeaking and grunting, and the occasional question I ask her. Those times might be the most peaceful moments my life has ever seen.

Year in review..... our E-letter for the end of the year.

I guess to sum up our year in one word, the word would be family. Our friends and family have not been leaned on by me this much in about 15 years or there about. The love, help, and support from our family has been amazing. Tash's several bouts with C-diff and colitis took a toll on us and during her pregnancy things became even more worrisome.

We were humbled by the love giving to us.

We did actually move and the process of moving went on from April-August when our lease was up. Natasha's parents purchased a house on 21 acres of farmland and with our child on the way and Tash needing a place to relax and heal the move was a no brainer.

Although it was a quiet year for travel it was a loud year for what would appear to be drama. Tash's condition flared up and she had a rough year but she persevered and made it through. Although it was a trying time Tash was very confident it would be OK and everything would turn around. I am happy to say she was right as things have turned around. Tash is healing and we are extremely happy about that.

Nadia was due today December 20th! Let the adjusted age begin!!!!

It was weird seeing yesterday's reminder pop up in my iCal but as most of you know she decided to rough mom up a bit and come early. 10/9/11 - Nadezhda Kitovna Gosselin decided to arrive on John Lennon’s birthday.

Natasha has been working on and off at Kisan in NYC doing PR and some sales when they need her help. I am still working in East Brunswick at a mailing and fulfillment firm and things have been really good for me at work which I am always thankful for.

I also graduated with my bachelor’s degree earlier this year… Summa Cum Laude, mind you ;) Shockingly I love to brag about it less than I usually like to boast about things. I also started my Masters of Social Work at Rutgers. I braced myself to be humble as I assumed I might not get the grades I am used to being that the program is much more difficult but after a lot of hard work, several papers, several exams, several presentations, speaking assignments, and various class discussions my ego has thankfully remained intact.

The last two major events that happened have brought additional tears to my eyes at certain times. First, when I received a call on Sunday October 9th at 7:00am from Tash telling me I needed to get to the hospital I got dressed in a about two seconds and was out the door. Weird…. I thought I could type this without reliving the tears but I guess not. I drove calmly to the hospital which was about 1 hour away and arrived in plenty of time.

I get to Tash’s room and she mentioned that her blood pressure has gone up and they are trying to get it back down. The nurse walks in and tells her “no talking, no lights, no TV, deep and slow breaths.” I sit there silently wondering what is going on and Tash says, “I need to you leave the room.” I think she said something about I was annoying but I could be wrong as I was just sitting there silently (albeit ready to freak out and I am sure she sensed it). So I go to the waiting room where men go when their wives ask them to leave the room and I got to see a grandpa interact with his blonde 2 year old granddaughter for about 10 minutes.

After 10 minutes a nurse comes in and says, “Mr. Gosselin?” My heart rate jumped and she asked me to follow her to the room again. As I entered the room it was obvious that poker was up. There were several people in the room and all were calmly doing their jobs. I was freaking out inside and tearing up here and there when I could not hold it. In walked Dr. Wallace. He was stoic and in complete control. He pulled his glasses out of his pocket put them on looked at the meters and then looked to me and said, “It’s time.”

I was scared to death. It was too early and I had no idea what technology was available for babies born this early. I read and read things but nothing was helping me overcome the percentage of death that I had read about. For those with preemies I am sure you know what I mean as each day that the baby stays in the womb the percentages for survival go up dramatically. Reading it was not the best way to spend time when your baby is coming but I coped the best way I could. Besides how else could I over analyze the issue if I did not read every single page on the web about it.

A nurse walked up to me handed me a package with scrubs and said you need to put these on. As I am putting the scrubs on I realized I had two different shoes on. It was a good laugh but in my defense the shoes were very similar and I was in a rush. At that point they contained Tash’s blood pressure with a lot of medicine and to the operating room we went. Minutes later after a little of what Tash kept referring to as "chop-chop" they pulled Nadia out and showed her to us briefly. The doctor was not a huge fan of the "chop-chop" but Tash and I thought it was funny. The next two months will not be talked about in this blog post but they will be in person if you stop by for some dinner at the farm next year.

Our family suffered a few losses this year. We lost Uncle Jean and Uncle Sonny. Uncle Jean will always hold a special place in my heart as he was a man who was very genuine when it came to listening to me. The last time I saw him at Aunt Margie’s he was great to speak with him as he always was and I will miss his sense of humor and heavy accent!

Finally, I want to honor Uncle Sonny. We lost my godfather and uncle this year. Uncle Sonny was a husband, father, grandfather, brother, friend and great man. I had the honor and pleasure to share some memories and jokes about his life and sense of humor at his funeral. His sense of humor was second to none and he made everyone laugh. His heart was the biggest of any person I have ever known. He wore his emotions on his sleeve and he was proud to show his love. I miss him dearly. If I could have one wish more for this year it would be to see him embrace Nadia.

We are looking forward to seeing many of you on Christmas Eve at K&Ls sans Nadia as she is too young to be around big crowds.

May all of you have a wonderful and prosperous 2012 filled with joy, love, and laughter!

Love,

Keith, Natasha, and..... Nadezhda!!!

Back to the grind..... the less important grind anyway.

Tash went back to work today for the first time since September.

I am sure she is excited as she works with great people.

Baba Nina and Baba Lena are in charge of Nadia today until I get home around 6 and at that point I take over. Not sure what I am going to do but I hope she is due to eat at that time as I have not fed her since she was in the hospital.

I am very much looking forward to spending time with family this year. It has been a trying year for everyone in our family. I hope everyone's year has turned around as our year has.

Stay tuned for my end of the year update in a nutshell as that will serve as our year end letter.

She's coming home today!

Nuff said....

Projectile action....

Well, last night was a great night for Nadia. She continues to eat and grow strong and be stubborn about her burping. She decided that she was not going to burp until she was starting to be fed again and she then proceeded to spew a bit of formula towards me. Tash was protected with a blanket on her and the boppy. Luckily for me Nadia does not have the distance yet. I will certainly be ready for it and I welcome it.

She weighed 1,750 grams yesterday and I continue to screw up entries in her calendar. Luckily for me, Tash is a great artist and she can also cover up most of my entries that go awry.

Nadia is going to be getting he immunizations over the weekend. Which reminds me that I need to get a flu shot before she comes home as well. One of her nurses Trish, thinks that next week is likely the week she will be coming home. It is amazing how two months has gone by since she was born but we are both ready to begin our part of the parenting job.

Speaking of Trish... Nadia was sniffling yesterday and after several attempts with a bulb and one last saline bullet Nadia sent a rather large booger (although this one had some speed so it would probably be classified as a snot rocket) out of her nose. I know it is disgusting but many disgusting things are going to be happening over the next several months.

We are looking forward to the shower this weekend and moving out of the Ronald McDonald house tomorrow. It is going to be a lot of fun at Doreen's I am sure. Karel and Doreen have done wonders in getting the shower up and running with the little amount of time they had to work with. I (and I am sure Tash is) am very grateful for their actions and happy they are a part of our lives.

8 bottles and a bath...

Well, the doctors decided to switch Nadia to 8 bottles a day. They removed her feeding tube due to her now being fed all her meals by bottle. She is continuing to grow and weighed in at 1.685 kilos yesterday.

Natasha gave her a bath yesterday for the first time and she was not happy about it. Remind me to show you the video when we see each other. Many nurses have spoke about premie babies losing some of the things they could do before they reached their full term point. I think that Nadia using her legs to push her self up out of the bath tab might be one of them.

I spoke with someone the other day who I had not heard from in a while. She mentioned that I would now see a whole other level of love as a parent. I concur.

A second update in one day because it is a big one....

Nadia has been moved to a crib. She is wrapped up like a burrito in a crib and she is now receiving all of her food by bottle. 8 bottles a day and no more feeding tube.... That is exciting so I figured I would post it here.

Великая Бабушка Нина

Nadia's great grandmother Nina arrived on Saturday and she visited with Nadia for the first time. Nina is Natasha's grandmother and she lives in Moscow. She will be in town for about three months and we look forward to having her around for Nadia's first few months at home.

Nadia weighed in at a whopping 1,676 grams yesterday. Rumors are beginning to circulate more frequently that she is coming home soon. I am still using her due date of December 20th as my date and will continue to do so until I am told what day we are taking her home by the doctor making the decision.

Natasha is continuing to improve and the Remicade continues to help. It has been a great few weeks and we are very thankful and believe she will continue to improve. She is gaining much of her strength and energy back as each day goes by.

I look forward to winding down the year and having a few weeks off from school. I was going to take a winter course but I decided it is best to have no distractions for Nadia's first few weeks at home.

An odd and proud moment... at least for me.... I had a piece of cartilage or cyst cut out of my ear last week (after scheduling and canceling appointments for years) and the doctor seemed to be amazed by what I am accomplishing at my age and circumstances. I was proud that a plastic surgeon seemed amazed by my story and impressed by the MSW I am obtaining. He spoke of the MSW and my actions as if they were gold. So I got that going for me. It was a very proud moment for me and I hope the good of my examples one day reflect on my daughter's life.